Hello dear readers…as i promised here is my first post.
So about two days ago i was with my childhood friend and were just talking typical teenage stuff…the latest gossip and all. Suddenly the topic of listening to others came up in our conversation. She was telling me how she wished her mom listened to her…like really listened. No judgements, criticisms, condemns, shouting, or advice giving. Just plain old listening. Then she would be opening up more to her mom and be telling her how she really feels. Then it hit me how what she was saying was so right. How many of us have been in both situations…my friend’s and her mom’s…how we wished somebody really listened to us and how somebody else wished we really listened to them. How many times have you ever talked to someone telling them important stuff…or not so important but you realize they are not really listening. They judge you, criticize you, condemn you or even give you advice without really trying to understand where you are coming from??? Or how many times has someone talked to you and you give them your full undivided attention?? Listening to them without looking at your phone, the television, or doing something else when they are talking to you??? Without thinking of a response or cutting them off while they are speaking??? I know the answer to that: Many times . I know for a fact there are many times i wished my mom, friends or siblings listened to what i say. And i also know there are many times people really wished I listened to them. So what is Listening??? Its being there fully for what is being said. It involves undivided attention to somebody. Listening does not happen with the ears only…No, it involves all the other sensory organs…apart from the mouth. When you really listen keenly you are able to understand what this person is saying…and what they are not saying. The true meaning behind their spoken words and the words that are left unspoken. You understand the body language of this person.How they are acting while speaking about something. You are able to see past the face of this person and into their soul where you can understand them from their point of view. When you really listen you become that other person…you understand them fully without having to say anything. You will be surprised how much people are willing to open up to you if you only took the time to listen to their story. And to listen does not involve shouting at the other party or telling them your opinions or giving them advice when it has not been asked for. That’s where we go wrong if we think that is what listening is. As humans, it is in our nature to want to be listened to…to be understood in everything we are saying; important or not. But remember the universe gives you back what you give out to it…so if you wanna be listened to…you need to listen to others too. Don’t be quick to react to what is being said…listen first: With your ears eyes nose and touch. Be there fully and present. Don’t look at your phone, or book or try to come up with a response while somebody is talking. Do better. Give somebody your undivided attention and trust me that person is likely to open up to you more than ever and when its your turn to speak…you wont have to worry if they are listening or not cause I guarantee you they will be. So next time someone is talking to you Listen. Whether they are talking about how the weather is hot or about how they are afraid of taking a test. How someone did them wrong or how they wish they would Netflix and chill the whole day. When someone who is your junior at work or home is talking.When your child is telling you how they played with their friends in the mud. Listen to them with enthusiasm. Every conversation is important no matter how small or meaningless it might seem to you. That way I’m sure you are even likely to make more friends because people will find you approachable and easy to talk to.